Monday, December 28, 2009

I love my sister!

So ever since I got home for Christmas break I've been feeling a little down, and I haven't been able to work on my book as much as I've been wanting to. Today it hit me so hard I had to stay sick in bed all day. Headache, stomachache, the works. It was a sickness spawned by fear. Fear that I'll never be a writer and fear that I'm going to get stuck somewhere doing something I hate and not living my dream. Letting all those I love down in the process. I feel like I only have so much time, once I graduate college I NEED to be earning some kind of living. (Hense: the published within a year goal)

The depression was so bad that while I lay aching in bed I thought; "I need to tell my sister and brother-in-law that if I die I want them to collaborate and publish my book. They're good writers, they could do it." And I did tell them that. I'm almost 20, the mortality rate increases exponentially from here. Frankly, I'm surprised I made it this far. I always thought I'd die young. Luckily I have a wonderful mother who comforts me simply by listening to me. And I have a sister who totally understands creative road blocks.

She used to subscribe to writers digest and ordered a ton of books all about writing and she loaned me a few copies. And she gave me some good advice for those days when you feel like: "I'm a horrible writer, there's no chance that this crap will ever be published!" Her method involves studying other peoples journeys and how they published their books.

Lucky me to have such a wonderful and understanding sibling! There are so many writers in my family, I really should talk to them more about my books.

There's good, then there's better, and then there's BEST

I have had a certain college professor for two semesters in a row now. (We’ll call him Professor W.) I’m sure many of you have met the type. Laid back as a person, but as a professor he’s critical of every literary thing and impossible to please. Don’t believe me? He thinks “Lord of the Rings” is a joke, Jane Austen is good but still horrible stuff, and don’t even get him started on “Twilight” and “Harry Potter.” He considers those books to be crimes against the literary community.

What he believes are the best books (and in a way I agree with him) are the ancient classics; “The Odyssey,” “Confessions of Socrates,” and other books which were our first histories. (Did you know the first novels were actually history books? They didn’t write them dry back in the day. Professor W had us read one and it was actually exciting.)

Very few modern books even touch his standard of high quality literature. He believes that society has dummied down books so much that there is no substance left to them. And all at the price of an easy read. After two semesters where I was required to read some “better quality” literature, I have to admit he does have a point. The Odyssey only looks tough on the outside, once you open it, it’s actually really good. True, old language is easier to understand when you read stuff like the Bible all the time, but still...it’s just a thought.

Actually, it is this very professor who was the first person to inspire me to become a better writer. I’ve always been good at writing and had good grades in all of my English classes and all my papers received top marks. Needless to say, I was a bit proud of my “gift.” It was his dissatisfaction and grading style that showed me that if I was going to make it in the literary world, I would have to make some major improvements.

My pride was literally torn from my ego and ground to powder to salt his breakfast eggs. Humility? More like public humiliation. But I know why he did it. He required me to not only be good but to become the best. He wasn’t going to waste his time babysitting a bunch of whiny college students who expected life to be handed to them on a platter just because they were enrolled in a University.

And now...neither do I. I want to make my life. I don’t want it given to me. It is my goal to improve my writing so much throughout my life, that by the time I’m 60 I might be able to pull of a “Beowolf” level work or two. That was what he tried to teach us. Hopefully, I’ll be able to use these new skills to hone my book into a near perfect text fit for the publishing world.

So the journey begins...great I'm starting out with a cliche this is going to go well...

Well, I guess it was only a matter of time before the blogosphere snagged me. But I was told by several friends that this would be a good way to put myself out there for publishers and (what can I say?) I’m a risk taker.

I’m a soon to be twenty-year-old aspiring writer. I want to publish a book I started when I was sixteen within the year. I have already looked at a few publishers and have decided on which ones would even be remotely interested in my type of book. Hopefully (cross fingers) they’ll accept my original spark of creativity and be willing to take it on. I’m now willing to let other eyes peek at what I hope will be seen as an amateur’s masterpiece.

I’ve always been a writer. Ever since my second grade teacher assigned us to write a short story I’ve wanted to write. I’ve experimented and exercised my “gift” all my life. I’m not perfect, grammar and I are certainly not friends, but writing is really the only thing that excites my blood. I’ve tried studying other fields to see if I could stand working in a better paying environment while writing on the side, but it’s no good. I just love writing too much.

Writers are scholars, philosophers, and opinion makers. All stuff I love to do! They are the ones who, in their own scientific way, search out human truths by broad study based on personal experience. What is ethics? What are morals? These are ideas that are shaped and molded and sent into the world for further study by writers. You don’t have to like what we write, you can just enjoy the experience and move on or you can take what we say to heart and apply it to life.

Food for thought