So ever since I got home for Christmas break I've been feeling a little down, and I haven't been able to work on my book as much as I've been wanting to. Today it hit me so hard I had to stay sick in bed all day. Headache, stomachache, the works. It was a sickness spawned by fear. Fear that I'll never be a writer and fear that I'm going to get stuck somewhere doing something I hate and not living my dream. Letting all those I love down in the process. I feel like I only have so much time, once I graduate college I NEED to be earning some kind of living. (Hense: the published within a year goal)
The depression was so bad that while I lay aching in bed I thought; "I need to tell my sister and brother-in-law that if I die I want them to collaborate and publish my book. They're good writers, they could do it." And I did tell them that. I'm almost 20, the mortality rate increases exponentially from here. Frankly, I'm surprised I made it this far. I always thought I'd die young. Luckily I have a wonderful mother who comforts me simply by listening to me. And I have a sister who totally understands creative road blocks.
She used to subscribe to writers digest and ordered a ton of books all about writing and she loaned me a few copies. And she gave me some good advice for those days when you feel like: "I'm a horrible writer, there's no chance that this crap will ever be published!" Her method involves studying other peoples journeys and how they published their books.
Lucky me to have such a wonderful and understanding sibling! There are so many writers in my family, I really should talk to them more about my books.
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